Thank You for Being a Friend: Class of 2020 Besties Share Their Stories
May 15, 2020
- Author
- Mary Elizabeth DeAngelis
Besties Niara Webb '20 and Zoe Hall '20
He檚 the friend who makes you laugh, sometimes uncontrollably, the one who believes that no conversation is too silly.
She檚 the friend you cried with after a bombed test, a bad breakup, or the death of a family member.
They檙e the friend who calms you down when you檙e about to crack and assures you攊n the midst of a pandemic that檚 disrupted your world攖hat you檙e going to be okay.
As college ends for 91茄子檚 Class of 2020, we asked 20 such friends to share their stories.
Carter Cook and Caroline Roy
Carter Cook and Caroline Roy spent their first hours as freshman roommates sobbing.
Carter had just said goodbye to her family and walked into the dorm room crying. She found Caroline sitting alone, crying.
Each has a younger brother, and the toughest part about the family goodbye was seeing them cry. Back in the dorm room, the two new roommates hugged and cried some more.
They became each other檚 first best college friend.
淪he was the best possible person I could have been matched with, Caroline said. 淐arter is one of the most outgoing and welcoming people I檝e ever met. She檇 encourage me to go different social events攎uch more than I would have on my own.
淚t was always so nice, after being around other people and doing other things all day to have that one person and that safe space to debrief and talk, Caroline said. 淲e have always been honest and vulnerable with each other.
Carter is a political science major and data science minor from Jacksonville, Florida. She ran the 91茄子 Daily student Instagram page as a Senior Admissions Fellow.
Caroline is an English major from Black Mountain, North Carolina, and was an editor for the 91茄子ian student newspaper.
91茄子 fosters a lot of friendships across the campus and you have a lot of people you can rely on, Carter said. 淐aroline has a similar sense of humor. We make each other laugh a lot. 淪he檚 also somebody I can talk seriously to. I feel like I can tell her anything.
Even when they weren檛 roommates, they檇 get together often.
淚t was easy to run into Carter on campus and end up walking around talking for the next few hours together, Caroline said. 淚 will miss that, but I know we will always be in touch.
Matt Frey and Zach Nussbaum
Matt Frey and Zach Nussbaum both grew up in the baseball world.
It檚 an intense existence of competing on travel and school teams, hoping to play in college, professionally, or both.
When they ended up as Wildcats Baseball teammates, they understood each other.
They practiced long hours and with fellow first-year teammates, cleaned up after practices, put tarp over the field when it rained and compiled stats.
At nighttime, Matt and Zach would head back to the batting cages.
淚 logged more hours with Matt during my first month of college than I did with my high school friends in four years, Zach said.
Matt, a second baseman and economics major from Pittsburgh, and Zach, a catcher and computer science major who lives in Seattle, laugh at the memory.
淚n hindsight we did so much stupid stuff, Matt said. 淲e檇 put in so many hours in the batting cages when it was so cold outside攚e檇 have homework to do that we wouldn檛 get started on until midnight. And it didn檛 get us any better.
(Both had standout tenures at 91茄子 on a team that went 13-3 this year before the pandemic stopped the season. They defeated 10th-ranked Duke University 7-6 in their last game. Zach hit two doubles, and Matt hit a run in with a single.)
But back to friendship.
Matt says he admires Zach檚 honesty, loyalty and humor.
淶ach doesn檛 screw around, he doesn檛 mince words, Matt said. 淗e檚 always straight-forward, there檚 never any secret about how he feels.
And Zach will always play along when Matt comes up with hypothetical ideas such as: 淲hat if we had to make a team of everyone in this economics class攚hat檚 your starting lineup?
Zach says he appreciates Matt檚 empathy and willingness to give everyone a chance.
淭he biggest thing about Matt is his patience with other people and his ability to understand their situations, Zach said. 淗e finds a way to like people攏o matter what his past experience has been with them.
Their families now know each other and Matt visited Zach檚 in Seattle over winter break.
淢att would sit there with my grandmother doing puzzles for hours, Zach said. 淪he loved having someone new to entertain her攕he gets sick of me.
Meranda Ma and Victor Ouko
Meranda Ma and Victor Ouko met at bible study.
Victor, a Belk Scholar, grew up with six siblings in a small town in Kenya. Meranda, who has an older sister, grew up in a small town near Chicago.
淲e檇 start having these conversations, and sharing these random thoughts in our heads, he said. 淚t became more than just a conversation about what happened in class or what was happening on campus.
They met for breakfast at least once a week. Victor had a hard time with 8:30 a.m. classes and Meranda always laughed when he檇 sprint by at 8:28 a.m. for a class on the other side of campus.
When she broke her ankle this past fall, he became her go-to campus golf cart driver, offering loud commentary (渘ever in a mean way,) about people who congregated on paths in front of them.
淰ictor is very witty, and very funny. He makes me laugh in so many ways, Meranda said. 淗e檚 also really intelligent, but he never makes you feel stupid if you don檛 know something.
Meranda says that Victor encouraged her not to measure success solely through academic achievement.
淲henever I felt discouraged because I didn檛 get the grade I wanted, or the award I desired, Victor would comfort me by affirming that my value extended beyond titles.
When Victor檚 father was hospitalized with a spinal infection for nearly three months, he worried from afar.
淭his was really bad for my mental health, but she and some of my other friends were key to me getting through it, Victor said. 淲e spent a lot of our weekly Monday breakfasts talking about it. I am really grateful for all the listening she had to do.
They檝e talked a lot about their Christian faith: what they believe, what they question, and agree or disagree about.
淏eing able to talk candidly and getting to know somebody on a deeper and more vulnerable level as you figure out what it all means has helped develop our friendship, Meranda said.
Victor agrees.
淵ou constantly learn things about your faith and yourself, he said. 淲e might have a different understanding of where our faith leads, but it檚 important to have someone who walks that journey with you.
Mia Gogel and Courtney Welch
Mia Gogel has a Halloween habit, and Courtney Welch enables her.
The two dressed up one year as American Gothic, frame and all. Another time they were Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy from the Sponge Bob Square Pants cartoon.
Graduation robes turned them into Harry and Ron from the Harry Potter series. And they portrayed the Vanilla Ice song 淚ce Ice Baby, with Mia dressed as a baby and Courtney and another friend as ice cubes.
Mia comes up with the ideas, and Courtney offers crucial backup.
淲henever I檓 enthusiastic about something Courtney will get right on board and say, 極k, let檚 do it!,櫇 Mia said. 淪he gets as enthusiastic as I am.
They lived next door to each other their first year. The two, and their roommates, became close.
Courtney, a political science major, grew up in England. Her family moved back to New Jersey just before the pandemic hit Europe. She檚 considering a law career.
Mia is an environmental science major from Baltimore. She檚 looking at a career in sustainable landscape design and wants to work for a non-profit.
淲hat I like best about Mia is her light-heartedness, Courtney said. 淪he檚 very silly and can always joke around, but has an awesome ability to listen. She檚 someone who will fight for your causes.
This past year, the two co-chaired the college檚 Women檚 Leadership Conference that was scheduled in April but cancelled because of the pandemic.
淒oing something of that magnitude could have been the test of our friendship, but it ended up making it even stronger, Courtney said.
They lived in the same hall, and later apartment building, all through college.
淚t檚 always nice to have your best friend around when something really exciting happens and you can檛 wait to tell her, or if you檝e had a bad day and come home upset, Mia said.
淐ourtney檚 one of those people you can sit and talk to for a really long time, or sit in silence with for hours. She檚 a really caring person, she remembers to ask how your test went, or how your paper檚 going.
淎nd best of all, she listens to my ridiculous humor, and humors me.
Jose Hernandez and Roy Toston
It often surprises people to learn that Jose Hernandez and Roy Toston are best friends.
Jose, a French major, was active in the college music scene. Biology major Roy檚 campus friends range from the science fields to the fraternity where he served as president.
The two Bonner Scholars met as six-year-olds living in rural eastern North Carolina.
They met at a summer day camp. Each came with a Nintendo game to play during afternoon free time. They agreed to swap games, and a friendship began.
Their elementary school contained a mix of black, Latino and white kids who lived in trailers or modest houses. Some of the white kids wore confederate flag T-shirts to school.
Most people in their town worked for the Butner federal prison or the nearby state mental health complex.
Their mothers, who檇 become friends, had a different vision for the boys. They car-pooled for the 45-minute drive to Durham Nativity School, a tiny academy with a mission to send low-income minority children to top private high schools.
In seventh grade, Jose showed his family a Woodberry Forest brochure and told them he wanted to go there for high school.
淭hey looked at me, like 榯hat檚 so cute,櫇 he said.
In eighth grade, the prestigious Virginia boarding school offered both boys scholarships.
淚 knew I wanted to go, but then Jose was hesitant, Roy said. 淚 told him, 楾his would be so good for us.櫇
Jose knew it was a rare opportunity.
淚 was just nervous about leaving home, and it was so different from anything I檇 ever experienced, he said. 淗ere we were, in this rich, preppy Southern school攚e were definitely in the minority."
淲e didn檛 have a lot of things that the other kids did, but it turned out to be this great experience.
The high school roommates never lived together at 91茄子 and made friends in their dorms, in classes and other activities. Sometimes they檇 go weeks without seeing each other.
淏ut whenever life really tested me or I was having a crisis, I檇 go to Roy, Jose said.
They consoled each other after each lost a family member.
淗e檚 someone I completely trust. He檚 smart, he檚 kind, he檚 caring and he檚 got a great sense humor, Roy said. 淲e can spend all night talking and listening to music. He檚 not just my best friend, I also consider him to be a brother.
Roy, who is also a Terry Fellow, recently received a Watson Fellowship to research abroad for a year, will postpone overseas travel until pandemic restrictions ease.
Until then, he檒l work as a research assistant at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta. He hopes to persuade Jose, who檚 considering a career as an Emergency Medical Technician, to move to Atlanta, too.
Catherine Cartier and Brody McCurdy
Catherine Cartier and Brody McCurdy first bonded over PeaceJam.
Both belonged to their high school PeaceJam clubs, which they talked about during a weekend for 91茄子檚 prospective Belk Scholars.
The PeaceJam Foundation檚 mission is 渢o create young leaders committed to positive change in themselves, their communities and the world
Catherine and Brody took that mission seriously. After talking about their many shared interests that weekend, Catherine mused: 淚 want to go to a college where people like Brody go.
She got her wish.
Both became Belk Scholars and kept in touch that summer before college started. They檝e been best friends since, ending their final days at 91茄子 as apartment mates.
In between, they spent a summer abroad in Jordan together. And they kept in touch whenever internships or studying abroad put them on different continents.
Brody is active in the college檚 Catholic Campus Ministry and the chaplain檚 office. Catherine works with 91茄子 Refugee Support, and is a Beyond Religion Reporting Fellow for the Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting.
They both love to travel and learn new languages. Catherine majored in Arab studies and history; and Brody, in linguistics. They appreciate each other檚 sense of adventure and willingness to leave their comfort zones.
淐atherine is always willing to try cool things and new places, Brody said. 淪he檚 genuine and kind攁nd so energetic and fun. She gets this weird energy and we will laugh like crazy, and not stop laughing.
When Brody wrote a spoof of the play Macbeth, Catherine, who檇 never acted before, played one of the three witches.
淚 can get obsessive about some new thing or some drama and Catherine is always willing to listen and engage, Brody said. 淪he檚 always supportive.
Catherine says she loves how Brody 減uts himself out there in such a creative way. He does things others don檛 have the courage to do, and lets people be themselves.
Lately he檚 offered encouragement as she stresses over job searching during the pandemic.
淚 have literally no worries for your future, he told her. 淵ou will be amazing.
淚f I檓 having a hard time with something, he always helps me see that I am valuable, she said. 淎nd he檒l remind me that this will pass.
Kayla Edwards and Adde Sharp
Kayla Edwards and Adde Sharp didn檛 know each other before becoming randomly assigned roommates at 91茄子檚 Sustainability Co-Op House.
Kayla, a political science major, grew up in the Washington, D.C. area. Adde, an outdoorsy environmental sciences major, comes from the mountains of Breckenridge, Colorado.
A few mutual friends said their second-year pairing might not work. And their first meeting, over coffee at the Summit outpost, felt stilted.
But when they moved in with eight others to the house, they ended up becoming best friends.
Different? Yes.
淪he檚 definitely more social than I am and was good about dragging me out to different events, Adde said.
Incompatible? No.
淲e have some superficial differences, but we檝e discovered a lot of ways in which we檙e very similar, Kayla said. 淲e can both be very intense, we like to dig deep into issues.
Take sustainability.
Adde initially viewed it as protecting the environment. Kayla saw it as a social justice issue攚ith lower income black and brown communities often saddled by harmful environmental practices.
Adde, a Terry Fellow, served as chair of the Honor Council and ran volunteer programs at the 91茄子 Farm.
Kayla, a Belk Scholar, worked on the 91茄子ian staff, raising questions about some of 91茄子檚 deep-rooted traditions in a changing society.
淜ayla loves to ask provocative questions, to really make people think, Adde said. 淭hat檚 taught me how to ask better questions and see things in a different perspective.
They have a mix of separate and shared friend groups. Both minored in Hispanic studies, so some of their classes overlapped.
In one key difference, Adde jokes that, 淚 love to cook, and Kayla loves to take pictures of the food I cook.
Kayla says she檚 tried to replicate some of Adde檚 recipes, but it檚 not the same.
淎dde makes this amazing Thai butternut squash soup, Kayla said. 淪he bakes for people on their birthdays. I was in a play, 楾he Cake and afterward she invited friends over for cake to celebrate.
Adde and Kayla will start 91茄子 Impact Fellowships in fall. Adde will work for the Catawba Land Conservancy; Kayla at the Urban Ministry Center in Charlotte.
淎t the beginning, neither one of us knew what we were getting into, Kayla said. 淣ow we檙e able to talk in a way that檚 so open and honest. We檝e established such a high level of trust.
Mike Bauman and Jack Mathieson
Sometimes the best thing a friend can do is nothing.
Mike Bauman and Jack Mathieson have a great time doing nothing together.
Yes, they both played Common Hour volleyball, coached Flicker Ball, and served as 91茄子 Outdoors trip leaders. All good times.
But they also sat around their apartment talking for hours about things others might think inane. They檇 delve into topics ranging from a bottlecap檚 color (red or burnt orange?) to the state of the universe.
Mike is a psychology major from High Point. Jack, originally from Pittsburgh, now lives in Asheville and majors in physics. As best friends, there檚 no one they檇 rather argue with.
And sometimes the chatter gets pretty deep.
淪ome people get absorbed in the superficiality in college. I want to talk about real things, Mike said. 淛ack will engage. He檚 incredibly smart and understands a lot of things I don檛. He檚 always educating me.
When they disagree, they don檛 get mad. 淚 like arguing with him because he doesn檛 become irrational, Jack said. 淏oth of us can say to each other, 極k, that檚 a good point, and then move on.
Jack hopes to move to Big Sky, Montana, for graduate school. He plans to become a high school physics teacher.
Mike wants to go into outdoor therapy; helping children and adolescents work through disabilities and mental health issues.
They launched a weekly podcast at 91茄子 and have continued it remotely. They model the conversations after so many they檝e had at 91茄子.
淎 lot of people don檛 have someone they can just bring a question to who will expand on it, Mike said. 淗ow often is it you get to talk about bathroom etiquette or if aliens are real?
Niara Webb and Zoe Hall
Niara Webb still doesn檛 keep up with the Kardashians.
But her friendship with Zoe Hall has brought out a far less serious side to the formerly pop-culture shunning Niara.
Niara, a Terry Scholar, was a high school senior at a small North Carolina boarding school when she learned Zoe would be her 91茄子 roommate. Zoe attended a big public high school in Annapolis, Maryland, went to parties and loved campy television.
淚 started stalking her on Facebook to see what she was like, Niara said. 淎nd I see she檚 created and posted a poster of the Kardashian family tree. While I was studying new wave French cinema, she was studying the Kardashians.
They both crack up laughing.
淚 remember during one of our first conversations asking her what her favorite music was, Zoe said. 淪he said, 業 don檛 listen to music. And I thought, 極h no.櫇
And they laugh again, and again.
Somewhere between the 700 Commons quesadillas they ate that first year, the late-night conversations and the pre-final room rearrangement, Niara and Zoe became best friends. They lived together all four years.
淶oe檚 always there, Zoe檚 always consistent, Niara said. 淭here檚 no one who檚 more bright or fun or entertaining. We檙e never out of sync, there a symbiosis.
淭here檚 also a very serious side to Zoe. She檚 very intelligent and very insightful. She has this ineffable quality of being able to be with people and quickly get to what檚 important.
The two sociology majors talk a lot about why modern society is so polarized along racial, economic and political lines. They檝e learned to say 渄isappointed, not surprised when they read about a guy in California using a Ku Klux Klan hat as a face mask.
They appreciate the honest treatment they get from each other.
淪he reads me really well, Zoe said. 淲e can have a blast together and continue the joke for hours. And she also knows when I want to be alone or need a hug.
淪he knows when to be nice, and knows when to say, 榊ou are kind of being a mess攜ou need to get yourself together. A lot of people in my life aren檛 blunt with me. She檚 blunt with me.
They also know when to compromise.
Since starting college Niara has binge watched 淣ew Girl, 淕lee, and 淔riends with Hall. But she檚 still not budging on the Kardashians.
Jonathan Lee and Mara Papakostas
When Mara Papakostas檚 mom and dad couldn檛 make her younger sister檚 first parents weekend at Emory University, she turned to Jonathan Lee.
淗ey, you want to go to Atlanta with me for Deidra檚 parents weekend? she asked.
淪ure, I檒l be Deidra檚 dad for the weekend, Jonathan said.
And so began another of many road trips Mara and Jonathan took in college. The two were in their second year, and went all out to make sure the first-year Deidra had family with her.
They wore the Emory parent T-shirts given out for the event. They mingled with other parents. And Jonathan bought himself a 淧roud Emory Dad coffee mug.
淗e檚 so easy-going and he檚 such a good sport, Mara said. 淗e cares as much about the things going on in my life as I do. He檚 been there 100 percent of the time.
They first met at orientation. Jonathan檚 roommate knew that both lived in Texas, and introduced them.
淭exans really like finding other Texans outside of our state, Mara said. 淲e hit it off right away.
Mara lives in Dallas, about three and a half hours from Jonathan檚 Austin home. She visited him over winter break that first year, and they made the 17-hour drive back to 91茄子 together.
They drove from 91茄子 back to Texas in spring; and from Texas back to 91茄子 several more times in their first two years, making stops in Georgia, Mississippi and New Orleans.
They spent a spring break together in Charleston, South Carolina, and another break at the Austin City Limits music festival.
Playing and singing loudly to Taylor Swift has been a road trip staple. They take turns driving and play 20 questions to pass the time.
淚 have a lot of fun with Mara, she檚 so easy to talk to and she檚 a genuinely caring person, Jonathan said. 淪he檚 so impressive, she speaks six different languages, she really inspires me.
Jonathon majored in Hispanic studies; Mara in political science and East Asian studies. They kept in touch through Facetime during their different times abroad.
They usually studied together, taking breaks to watch Parks and Rec and Friday Night Lights. Jonathan, who was news editor of the 91茄子ian, has also been a mentor to Mara檚 sister, Erin 23, a contributing writer.
淛onathan is a great listener and one of the most considerate and selfless people, Mara said. 淲hatever you檙e telling him, big or small, he gives the same amount of care and attention to. He is a forever friend.
